A support system to someone living with a mental health condition is akin to a safety net. Life support, even. As someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts, I can say without hesitation that a support system can save a life. Easily. Just having someone to talk to when everything in your mind is dark and scary can be the exact escape a person needs. A distraction can be a crucial reminder that a permanent solution is never the answer.
Putting a support system together begins by thinking about your inner circle: those individuals with whom you are the closest and have known the longest. Chances are good they know a bit about what you’ve been going through. They may know your diagnosis, or just that you’ve been struggling. If they don’t know the details of what you’ve been dealing with, now is a good time to tell them. Find a time when you’re stable and feeling okay. Grab a cup of coffee together and let them know you’re sharing more details because you’re hoping they’d be willing to be a part of your support system. Chances are they’ll be more than ready to help when you need it.
Basically you’re asking them to be there for you when you need someone to talk to regarding your mental health.
The number of people in your support system comes down to personal preference, but I recommend having at least three to five individuals you can call on when you need support. Individuals who are good, active listeners make excellent support system peeps. You know the type - the understand you and ask questions when you’re talking to fully understand what you’re getting at. They also should be really good at responding in a timely manner. If you text or call them, they should text or call back fairly quickly because sometimes when you need support it may be urgent that you connect with someone right away. (If those in your support system aren’t available, you can always call or text 988, the National Suicide Lifeline, to be connected with a trained counselor. I’ve done it several times and talking with the counselor was always very helpful in my time of need.)
I also found it helpful to have a few individuals who also live with bipolar on my support system team. I was fortunate to have met them through my work with This Is My Brave. They understand the nuances of living with bipolar which is a plus. You may meet someone through a support group who you’d like to have in your support system. Or maybe someone from church or work. The important thing when creating your support system is inviting people in who you know and trust.
Be up front about how your support system can best support you when you need help. Do you want them to simply listen? Or would it be more helpful if they offered advice? Maybe you’d like them to go on a walk with you. Or maybe all you need is for them to check on you weekly. Your needs may change at different times so don’t be afraid to let them know each time you call on them what your needs are at that time.
And you don’t have to always talk about your mental health with your support system. Some days you may chat on the phone about the weather, current events, what you’re doing that weekend, etc., without even touching on your mental health. Your support system should know you well enough to detect when something is off. For me, those in my support system can tell simply by the sound of my voice whether I’m depressed or leaning towards mania.
Speaking of mania, to be prepared for any situation, you may want to explore building a WRAP plan for your mental health recovery. What is a WRAP plan? Here’s a website that describes it in full detail. In essence it’s an advanced medical directive for times of crisis. You detail within the WRAP plan how you’d like to be taken care of during a mental health crisis, down to the people who know you best, and even includes the medicines you’re willing to take and hospitals you’re willing to go to. Completing the WRAP plan may seem daunting at first, but taking it step by step makes it manageable. It can be reassuring to know that when a crisis hits, you’ll be taken care of the way you’d prefer to be taken care of.
I cannot stress enough the importance of building a strong support system. I don’t know where I’d be without mine.
So far I’ve written about my first three keys to the Mental Health Mindset and here we’ve added the fourth:
Support System
I hope these are helpful for you or someone you love. Subscribe to be notified when I post about keys #5-10 in the coming weeks.